Anger: Can I overcome it?
At some point, all of us can say we’ve experienced anger. However, some people experience it on an ongoing basis. This is particularly dangerous, because aggressive anger and some forms of passive anger can hurt people mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Anger is caused by negative feelings about certain things and can be evidence of an inner problem that must be dealt with, either with oneself or another person.
There are two different types of anger:
- Aggressive anger, which is the most hurtful. Usually people who’re aggressive hurt people physically, mentally, and in some cases sexually.
- Passive anger, which is the most common and not as dangerous. It usually encompasses people who redirect their anger to a different emotion to stop the chances of it becoming aggressive. However, many times, passive anger can be just as dangerous as aggressive anger, but the danger being more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
All anger manifested externally began internally.
Can anger be used for good reasons? Yes! You can be angry at sin, suffering in the world, at satan, etc. You can be angry if legislation passed in your country that didn’t align with your beliefs or the Word of GOD. If the anger is for a good reason, especially for a circumstance that needs to change, then it it considered healthy.
However, anger that is expressed for bad reasons or petty issues of life, it’s unhealthy, and is the sign that a problem has occurred internally that hasn’t yet been dealt with.
Anger is very common in the Bible. The words anger, wrath, and indignation (in all varieties) have been used in the Bible over 600 times. Cain, for example, is the first in history to be angry with GOD (Genesis 4:5).
Anger, especially that which causes sin, needs to be dealt with one way or the other. Just because someone appears calm on the outside, that doesn’t necessarily represent the anger that could be on the inside. However, sinful anger can occur both externally and internally. So, keeping anger bottled up isn’t going to help. Solving problems using effective techniques, including meeting with your inner man and meeting with the person or group that has angered you. You see, many people cannot use effective techniques at managing anger if they don’t first have self-control. You need to control your emotions so that they can be effectively dealt with. By dealing with anger and rooting it out of your life, you’ll clear up many problems in your life also.
Proverb 29:22 says, “An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.” And then in Proverb 14:29, it says, “Hethat is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that ishasty of spirit exalteth folly.” Last one here, Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
Dealing with Anger at its root
- Ask GOD for a patient spirit. Make up your mind to become meek (slow-tempered, as scripture directs us in Galatians 5:22-23). You don’t have to lose your temper. You don’t have to fly off the handle. You don’t even have to speak angry words. With GOD’s help, you can exercise self-control…just ask Him!
- Memorize key Bible verses on this subject of anger. Proverb 29:11 says, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” And then James 1:19-20 says, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
- Confess to GOD your sinful anger when it happens, and then make an action plan (with GOD’s help) for next time anger wants to tempt you. Not only that, but confess to the person (if the case) that you were angry with them. Ask GOD for forgiveness and ask the person(s) involved (if the case) for forgiveness as well. Tell anyone involved or tell yourself that you’re working on managing and defeating your anger.
- Learn a management strategy. Teach yourself that exploding in anger is not good, bottling up anger is not good either, and acting in anger in everyday situations is not good. It’s best to first talk over any anger with GOD, talk about it with yourself, and then talk about the anger in a very calm fashion with the person(s) involved. Make it clear that your anger must cease, and that the problem needs to be resolved for best results.
- Go back and repair any damage with anyone caused by the outbursts of anger. With GOD’s grace, you can significantly repair your own life by learning the principle of forgiveness, and even rebuild what’s been destroyed in the past.
There are many more strategies that can be implemented for helping you manage your anger. Many times, anger management therapy should be in order. This is not a fix-all or quick-fix strategy, but going to get help may be necessary if some of the techniques above don’t help.
The techniques described above are not to be taken as doctoral advice, but more as spiritual advice. Do not mistake the advice above for the advice of a doctor. If you need help from a doctor, please make sure to contact them.